vianx17's Xanga

let's play like kids

Sun, 08 Nov 2009 06:54:29 GMT

EK with D6 + Pearl + Charm last Friday was awesome. Thanks to Vince for being an hour and half late, we arrived just in time for EK's gate opening. Good job! Hahahaha. Lunch, rides, getting wet, and whatnot tramped over the scorching heat of the sun.

Dinner at SLEX minus Charm was still awesome. But the best part was the major traffic jam we had to endure going home. Thinking games rocked our night! Hahaha. And can I just say, Chuck's ultimate "hair salon" theory is the best I've heard by far. HAHAHA.

Julie and I observed something that made us wonder. Wonder real hard. HAHAHA. At least, now I know I'm not the only one noticing things around me. And one more thing, I finally understood what some things meant. I knew it, it definitely has a reason! Blahblahblah, I'm not spilling, well, not just yet. Lalalalalalala.

Got home at around 1am and at that moment, I knew I just had to text Jace. Weeeee. Iloveyoujosphinecarmelli! You completed my night! Here's to another reason to stay around.
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Spent Saturday and half of Sunday at Sofitel with the family. Dinner, breakfast and lunch at Spiral. LOVELOVELOVE. But I swear, with all that binge eating, I should not eat nor drink anything other than water for the follwing week. Yeaaaaah riiiighhhht.
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School's back in a few days, and no matter how weird it may sound, I think I'm quite excited. For a reason other than studying, of course.

saying "felafol"

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 17:45:07 GMT

I like how Robin thinks. Hmmm.

Come to think of it, I've never said it either. At least not to those people concerned. Blah.

Btw, this sembreak thing, it's making me miss how complicated my life used to be back in college. Now, it's just complicated because of all the reading and studying I have to do. Don't get me wrong, I hated the frequent popping of unanswerable questions inside my head and all that shiz, but at least it wasn't monotonous. The other night, out of nowhere, I knew I just had to ask Diana, "Have you ever felt na your life's like a telenovela?" Too bad she hasn't.

I know I used to rant and complain a lot about how my life is such a mess back then, but I guess you really won't miss the water until it's gone. Two years ago, I'd do anything to have this one night when I wouln't have to think of "When will this end?" "Will this ever end?" or even "When will this really start?" Two years later, it's all about "How do I start with our Biochem journal?" "When will we finish our Physio MTAP?" and the likes.

It's either my life's getting a lot more serious, leaving behind the supposedly immature stuff in the past, or my life's just losing that certain sparkle from all the mess, arguments, heartbreaks and all those little things that made it seem so much like something some people only get to see on screen.

I miss.

I'm not asking for a rerun. I want a new series. With the happy ending this time.

how i met your mother

Mon, 02 Nov 2009 17:35:15 GMT

I know it's late, but it's only now that I got to notice my dust-accumulating HIMYM dvds. And yessssss, of course, I LOVE IT. It's like the ultimate pick-me-upper, well, next to Friends, at least. But can I just say, "Screw you Ted and Robin!" not because you suck and all, but because you remind me so much of how it used to be back then.

Everytime I watch himym, I always get the feeling that Ted Mosby's my male version. Going through all that hassle just to prove a point to Robin, pushing real hard for something that could possibly just be nothing, giving it his all and more just to be with that one person, even if it seemed pathetic already, and even after hearing that infamous phrase "I guess it's not meant to be."

Robin, on the other hand, is someone who'd change her mind as fast as a speeding race car driver. One moment she doesn't want it, and one moment she's suddenly into it. In real life, there are a lot of Robins, in all shapes and sizes, I'm telling you.

Anyway, I'm not trying to BBTF here, nor am I trying to give rekindling a shot, this just goes to show that I've gone from totally head-over-heels-i'll-wait-for-you-til-whenever to totally i'm-never-gonna-be-like-that-again-to-anyone-ever.

Disclaimer: This is not an entry brought about by surging emotions or whatsoever near that line, this is just about me not going back to that kind of territory ever again. If I want something, I should understand that I couldn't get it all the time. I should learn how to accept an answer other than a "yes." Most of the time, it's not a clear "no," usually it's a "let's put this on hold,""let's wait" or even "the circumstances are not right," or whatever derivative actually, but the point is: if it's not a "yes," then might as well treat it as a "no."

Better safe than sorry, and please, "What if's" do pass. You'll just be surprised one day you'll forget everything about it. And all you need is a new place holder. You get my point.
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Enrolment for 2nd sem in a few hours, I better go to sleep now. TTFN.

Btw, I've made up my mind about making up my mind. Yeah, whatever I meant. I'm no longer paying full. Just making room for the unknown. We'll never know when the world will end.

HAHAHA. Stupid excuse, but still. I'm still in med school, and I haven't changed my mind about being a doctor, I'm just really taking into consideration the number of friends I've lost this past sem. Hmmmm.

Lalalalalalalala.

not quitting anytime soon

Fri, 30 Oct 2009 12:54:50 GMT

I was talking to Bryan awhile ago, and can I just say, that guy is ALWAYS in the know! Hahaha. He already knows about my "Do I still pay full tuition next week?" dilemma. And I've only talked to 2 people about it. HAHAHA.

Unlike high school or college, paying full tuition in med is quite a big decision. Well, I've never tried paying in installments; for one, I never liked lining up twice when I could get it over with in just one go, and well, I've never been this pressured before. I now understand why there's a strong need for a psychological stability exam prior to med school acceptance. More than just being physically draining, with the all-nighters and whatnot, med school really tests your emotional and psychological stability. BIG TIME.

It's not that I'm planning to quit med school anytime soon, I've been doing quite well lately (save for biochem which is still pending! pfft!), but really, if there's one thing I've learned in this ordeal, it's that you'll never know who's staying for good and who's suddenly going to surprise you by leaving, with no signs, signals or whatsoever. I had to learn that the hard way. Say hello to several vacant chairs near me. Pfft.

WHICH brings me to yet another sad goodbye. I don't know if I'm allowed to say it out loud already since it's yet to be finalized. Nothing's final until the release of the new class list anyway, but still, it pains me to see another one go, leave in such a short notice. I didn't even get to say goodbye, everything happened so fast, *snap* and then *boom* there goes another friend. Lalalalalalala. I don't like people leaving. No one does.

what anvaya?

Thu, 29 Oct 2009 15:46:06 GMT

Screw you effin weather! Anvaya reservation down the drain. Pfft.

My Beijing turned Hong Kong turned Singapore turned Anvaya turned nothing. EFFFFFFF YOU WEATHER!

losing it

Wed, 28 Oct 2009 04:30:32 GMT

I don't know if this is temporary or this is just the old me acting up. Or maybe, just maybe, this is a defense mechanism on progress.

Blah.

random feel good dream

Tue, 27 Oct 2009 03:58:57 GMT

The other night, I had one of the most random dreams, or so I think. Dreams, as I remembered studying in hypnotherapy class, are never random. Either you pulled it into being, or there's a deeper pool which you failed to have acknowledged in real life. I'm pretty sure that it's not the former for me. Soooo...yeah.

i will keep my mouth shut, but i will let my fingers do the expressing

Sat, 24 Oct 2009 11:09:09 GMT

"Mahal kita.... Mahal mo rin ba ako?"

SORRY. Temporary speech deficiency.

But seriously, KILIG ME. Awww. Hahaha. If I were you, I'd stop thinking that it might be too hard given the situation and the fact that med school's a very good excuse to miss out on life, moreso, on lovelife. I'd rather take it on. Go through with it. If it makes your heart happy, then, so be it.

Saka na isipin yung sasabihin ng iba.

Hard is an understatement, but there's always going to be a bright side. Not to mention that at least, now, we know that it's not just a joke. Far cry from it actually.

Disclaimer: No one, as in NO ONE, ask me about this. It's not a secret for me to spill.

at long last

Sat, 24 Oct 2009 03:31:55 GMT

After what seemed to be a very loooooooong exam week, finally, SEMBREAK NA!!!

This would probably be one of the most appreciated sembreaks by far. Though sembreak in Ateneo is twice as long, and though recuperation is yet to happen (since grading in med is yearly, not semestral), this sembreak just screams of "YOU TOTALLY DESERVE IT!!!"

Seriously. I thought Ateneo was hard. Most especially during Junior year when Philo and Theo make you realize that there's no such thing as an easy course at the Ateneo, whether you're AB, BS or BSM. Lo and behold, medicine is of an entirely different league of hard. It's difficult to explain, and it's a lot more difficult to understand when you're not the one in this position, but do believe me when I say that I've studied more and crawled my way through harder in a span of one month in med school than I ever did in an entire sem back in college. To think that I've always thought that being blue means being at the top of the food chain. HA. In med school, all of us are at the bottom, depths even, of the food chain.

Dear non-med friends, THESE. These are the things that kept me away for the past few months. But for the next 17 days, I'll be back to being normal Vianx, the one without the "I can't go out tonight." issues. Unadultered fun, here I come.

funny parents

Fri, 23 Oct 2009 05:05:49 GMT

Right after checking my Physiology exam, I knew I just had to text my mother who has been more anxious than I am for this entire exam week.

So much for passing! HAHAHA. Ugh? No one consulted me about this. Annnnndddd, mother, are you kidding me? Enrolment's on the 3rd. Meaning, I can only leave by the 4th (IF EVER). Oh btw, classes start on the 11th. Technically, that's just 5-6 days, if I take into consideration the hours spent on the plane. How impractical can we get?!

If you are to ask me (hopefully they would before booking me a flight) I'd rather spend my sembreak here. WITH FRIENDS I haven't seen in ages. But then again, the shopping part always ALWAYS always gets me.

Let's see, let's see!
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Cinderella walked on broken glass. Sleeping beauty let a whole lifetime pass. Belle fell in love with a hideous beast. Pocahontas risked her life for a feast. Jasmine could have had anyone but instead chose a poor man. And Ariel walked for the last time on land. All for love and all for life. It was all about blood, sweat and tears. Love is all about facing your biggest fears.

I just had to post that.